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Family Wars Heat Up When Parents Seek Custody

Divorces don't always go as smoothly as they should. Quite often parents find themselves in the middle of vicious custody wars that literally devastate a family. Fights, yelling matches and arguments can cause what would otherwise be simple custody matters to devolve into all out battles over who gets the kids. If both sides can come to some common ground, issues over visitation and joint or sole custody could be easily solved. Usually by mediation. But many times, a divorcing couple will find themselves in the middle of a bitter fight over schedules and who will be the custodial parent. These are the cases that wind up in court.

One of the most common causes of custody wars is the matter of child support. The law requires courts to be fair in the matter of divorce and regardless of gender, issue child support orders for the non-custodial parent. Unless the custodial parent decides to waive their rights to basic child support and signs a written agreement to make other arrangements the non-custodial spouse will be required to pay. Many parents, both male and female, don’t want to be the one to pay child support to an ex-spouse. Even though the money is really going to support their children. This is especially true if the marriage didn't end on good terms. The best way to avoid getting to this kind of breakdown is to calmly and thoughtfully, consider what is best for all parties without letting anger and tempers get in the way. It may be easiest to do this through an attorney or mediator that can help ease the way into negotiating an agreement.

Custody Wars Can Devolve Into Kidnapping

In divorce, there are often vindictive actions taken out of anger. The one that may be the most cruel to both spouses and children is when one parent seeks to "take away" the children from the other. All too often a custody war turns into a traumatic experience with a parent or relative kidnapping the children prior to custody proceedings or after custody has been awarded. The offending parent or relative is often trying to punish or hurt the divorcing spouse by doing this, but end up hurting everyone involved. Children are the most devastated by these kinds of actions because the conditions are usually not good ones and if they are ever returned home, they may see a beloved relative being taken to jail or worse.

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